Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Halloween blogging 2006

And the difference between Witch and Wizard is...
A Witch will think about her pumpkin/jack o lantern, put down some newspaper, gather a bowl or 2 for seeds and pulp, and get all her tools (1 or 2 knives and a spoon). She will then make her jack o lantern, keeping all of the mess on the newspaper, and separate the pulp from the seeds. Somehow this is done is a manner respectful of the Witch, the pumpkin, the kitchen, any observers, and the occasion. When the jack o lantern if finished, she will put a small candle in it and put it on the porch, to shine for the neighborhood.
A Wizard will wait until the appropriate time (usually when dinner needs to be cooked and trick or treaters have started to show up). He will put down a sheet of newspaper that is the size of the pumpkin only. He will start by using the same knives that the Witch had used. Then, he will run down to the basement and get a drill and the exacto knife set. He will also rummage through the cupboards to find cups and bowls to use as templates. He will not separate the seeds from the pulp (too busy, and there is no symbolism for him in the seeds), preferring to dump it all in one bowl. Because a Wizard is focused only on the end result and not the plane of existance that his body is on, he will not notice that he is spraying bits of pumpkin all over the table, the chairs and the floor. When he is finished carving, he will start running around the house, looking for "the little light and the extension cord I used last year, where is it?" not noticing that the pumpkin bits that were on the floor are now being tracked all over the house. When handed a candle by the Witch, he will grump that it won't be bright enough to show off his artistry. He will then be very careful in cleaning up his tools (exacto knives and drill) and throwing away the lone sheet of newspaper. He will dump the kitchen knives in the sink, and leave the bowl of pulp/seeds for the kitchen staff to deal with. Upon seeing the Witch with her broom, he will make the assumption that she has already swept up after him, because he is the great and wonderful Wizard.
Then he will ask for dinner. The Witch shrugs, and says, "whatever you are going to make for yourself."

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