Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Still Liminal After All These Years.

This was/is to be the year that I stepped through the threshold, going from one state of being to the next. My baby went off to college nearly 5 hours from home, and the older daughter, having started work on her Ph.D. has set up household a mere 2 hours away. A major piece of magical work, a work of nearly 6 years duration, is successully and well finished. And, in a matter of months, I will have my 50th birthday.

I have great plans for this year, and the years to come, and I've been more than ready to get started on them. At the beginning of the year I set my first goal; to attend Sacred Spaces, in Maryland. I've wanted to attend for several years now, but being mother to a resident child (especially a child who, despite being a native New Jersian, does not drive), and the expenses of having that teenager home, kept me from attending.

In one form or another, I "know" most of the presenters at Sacred Spaces 2011 (that's one of the advantages of being around for a while), and what a group to hang out with! Judika Illes, Jason Miller, Diana Paxson, Ketzirah Carly, just to list the people that I know, or I've chattted with. I investigated hotel costs and transportation and started putting the funds aside. I started thinking about how I was going to break the news to DH, that I was going off to have fun without him.

And then...the supply list arrived for a film photography class that my younger daughter is taking. A list of items that are not available at the school bookstore where she has a generous scholarship. A list of items, that, when purchased, swallowed up the hotel and train funds.

So. Still Mommy, first. I will get to Sacred Spaces (and similar events) in the future. This week, I will stay home.

Still Liminal.

5 comments:

Diandra said...

I am sorry to hear that your plans did not come together as desired... but there will be more opportunities for you, for sure...

Penny said...

Our homes and families are Sacred Spaces too. You are a wonderful mommy.

Lavanah said...

Thank you, Diandra. I know that this is just the start of this phase of life and I will have plenty of time for my own projects.

And, thanks, Penny for the kind words. I AM a wonderful mommy, even my kids would admit to that (now that they are out of the house!). But what I was really wishing for was time with fellow magic workers, both for the social life (facebook is NOT a social life!) and for further inspiration. I was just looking forward to leaving the Cloister.

Kallan said...

Oh what a bummer! Perhaps next year, you could attend with me. I'll happily pick you up at the train station.. or you could come stay with me.

Lavanah said...

You've got a deal, K! The ride from the train station to the hotel was one of those things that hadn't gotten figured out...